Micah 7:18 “Who is a God like You, who pardons iniquity And passes over the rebellious act of the remnant of His possession? He does not retain His anger forever, Because He delights in unchanging love.”

Over the course of this past year, God decided to show me His love and the greatness thereof (as much of it as I can comprehend). Looking at God’s loving kindness, at His grace, and at His mercy is indeed a complex and time-consuming project. There is no way in heaven, or on earth, that I will ever completely understand all of what He is showing me.

Learning His love is a process, not an event. I did not wake up one morning and decide that I desired to know His love and suddenly “it happened.” We experience aspects of God’s love, but from that one experience, we are unable to determine the breadth of this love. We will experience mercy and grace, but again from that one experience, we are unable to know completely the extent of His mercy and grace—even in that one experience!

God decided to start teaching me love by allowing me to experience love. He showed me the failures of my love, the myriad of points where my love and His love are not the same. He showed me that my love was not His love. My love was human and fallen. His love is perfect and holy. His love is an example of what we should aim our love to be like.

God allowed me to learn His love. He brought someone into my life that I learned to appreciate. I learned to enjoy her company. Eventually, I (in my hard-headed and stubborn way) learned that I had affection towards her. This affection blossomed and grew. I learned to love her.

God then took her away. God showed me that she and I were not His plan. God showed me that she was not the girl that He had made for me. Actually, God beat it into my head. I am stubborn and willful and did not initially listen to Him; why did He bring her into my life, why did I care for her so much if she was not the one He wanted for me? Questions raced through my head. (Many still bother me.)

God was teaching me parts of Himself.

During one week, I was reading through the prophets and was struck by a thought; it was as though a veil was lifted from my eyes and I could further understand these verses! God loved his people, and He still loves them even after all the problems that they have caused for him. God’s love does not waver. God’s mercies are constant. God’s grace is eternal.

I still cared for her, but she ran. She denied my affection and only seemed to talk to me when she needed something or was in some trouble. She knows that I am there for her whenever she needs it. I did not know why I still cared for her. I did not know why I still cared for her even after everything that has gone on, but now I do. God compared my care for her to His care for us.

We as people are inherently sinful. We all know this. We also know that God loves us. In our innermost hearts, we have determined that we will do what we want to do and God is there to help us. We view God as condemning and judging because He disapproves of our actions and our methods for taking care of ourselves. We see God as beneficial only when we are in dire need, and there are no more options for us, nothing more that we can do.

With this view of God—our constant denial and our constant attempts (even unknown to ourselves) to spite Him—He still loves us and cares for us.

Whenever this young girl talks to me and spends time with me—even though I know that she is only around because she needs something from me—I enjoy it and appreciate it. I do love her a lot. I know that there is no way that we will end up together; I know that she is not the one that God has for me. Yet I do know that I have a greater appreciation of what I put God through now that I understand some of what I have experienced. I understand some of His pain at our rejection of Him. I have only been rejected by one person whom I loved, yet God is daily rejected by over six billion beloved people!

With this love that He has for me, how am I not able to love others even more? Because I have a greater understanding of God’s love, I am now responsible to love more like He does.

Romans 5:8 states, “But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.”

God has given up more for us that we can ever imagine. I understand this now to a greater degree than ever before.